Journal

Well I guess that post a few down there is wrong: Times are not so different. I mean, the price of gas is back down around 70-75 cents a litre. That’s pretty good. ‘Old Grey Beard’ (the grey shirt that won’t die) hangs in my closet only a notch or two past my daily wearables. He could show up any day now! What else? Well, there’s Joe. He’s clearly not insane and at the recent New Year’s Eve party I didn’t see him drink a drop. In fact, he may be at his creative peak what with the Dark Knight trailer and all. I think we can expect more greatness from that greasy bastard! ...

Let’s start the new year off right. Here’s a masterpiece from the minds of Joe Xavier Carolan and Patrick Zeus Carolan. I’ll also take some credit for piecing it together. Enjoy!

No, this isn’t that meaningful update you’ve been looking for. Just dropped in to say, “Hey. How ya doing?” You can now go back to your day. Thank you.

Remember the good ol’ days… When gas was under 80 cents. When Ryan was fat and jolly. When Shaun was single and bitter. When we didn’t know if Jeff was gay or not. And when I wore that grey shirt everyday, was often bent over and was always surrounded by dudes. Yep, those were the days. They were also the days when Joe wasn’t insane and didn’t drink. See? ...

It’s been quite a while since I had a day where I saw so many people whose faces I wanted to smash in. Mainly these people were in Wal-mart. Actually they were all in Wal-mart except the guy who was driving the same speed as me in the next lane as I drove home from St. Catharines. Now what would make me have such a day? Nothing, ‘cept my usual messed uppedness in the head. Think it was just one of those angry days when I’m best to lock myself up at home and watch Hannah Montana reruns. ...

Today I discovered some footage of myself at work from 8 years ago and that’s a frame from it above. It’s horrifying. At the same time it beautifully captures this Barnhardt tipping the scales at an all-time high of 265 pounds. This was about November of 2000, shortly after I’d decided to use misuse some hair clippers on my dome. It truly seemed like a great idea at the time as I stood in the dimly lit washroom of a small 2-bedroom bungalow I was sharing with Andrew. ...

I’m a little out of shape as you may’ve noticed. I’ve been having this neck pain for some time (seems unrelated to that wicked ice fall I took in Buffalo in early January). Went to the doctor on Thursday and he sent me for an Xray and some blood work yesterday. Standing in line at the lab, the lady ahead of me turned and smiled. She was older. Short hair. Possibly a lesbot. I looked down and saw her wearing some special socks. I wished I had special socks. ...

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Here’s all the life-altering pictures from Monday night’s barbecue at Jeff and Stacie’s place. SPOILER ALERT: Samantha’s “all wet” and Adam Girdlestone is ass-up! Click me for the photos you antidentite bastard!

I’m in the crapper at work. The lowlife gentleman who sang that beautiful “pussy fart” song the last time I was in here is about 5 stalls down. He’s on his cell phone with someone named “Sharon.” He’s telling her that he’s “at work” which is either wicked funny or tragically truthful. He just asked if his “friend came by,” which I’m gonna figure means his hash dealer. I hate this place. ...