Today I discovered some footage of myself at work from 8 years ago and that’s a frame from it above. It’s horrifying. At the same time it beautifully captures this Barnhardt tipping the scales at an all-time high of 265 pounds. This was about November of 2000, shortly after I’d decided to use misuse some hair clippers on my dome. It truly seemed like a great idea at the time as I stood in the dimly lit washroom of a small 2-bedroom bungalow I was sharing with Andrew.
This really is a great pic. I mean, if you asked someone to draw a funny cartoon of me at work, you most definitely would put a cheeseburger next to me and pencil in some property damage caused by my girth. The shit-faced stare that reality gives you is a nice bonus.
Here’s some more insight for you. See that remote control? The TV it controlled was about 8 inches out of frame to the left. Was I gonna just extend my skinny arm and change the channel on my own? And risk having a droopy sausage tit slam on the keyboard? I didn’t dare.