At work on the counter next to the pizza stand is a display of spices for your choosing. I regularly partake in several of them, despite not really knowing their proper title. There are two toppings that I always skip…
I was at the food area the other day, ordering up a delicious bowl of tomato rice soup, one of their better soup offerings. I looked down the counter to the end where the pizza slices are served up. I saw a pony-tailed man receiving a slice from the server. He turned to the topping display and I saw the son of a bitch’s eyes light up like he’d just seen his first cooter. As he lifted the bottle I was in shock. He was thrilled about putting olive oil on his pizza.
Now perhaps some of you crazy bastards out there have done the same, but for over 10 years I’ve wondered what kind of sicko actually puts olive oil on their pizza. The bottle always appears to be full and not recently used. And perhaps it never had been, until this starry-eyed goober appeared.
Not only did he put a splash on his slice, but he shook the bottle violently creating a greasy oil volcano that erupted over every square inch of his triangular treat. Fucker looked like a fireman putting out a blaze. He was so proud of himself too and excited like his day and perhaps entire life to this point had been meaningless and this topping was going to change that. Create a real purpose for his being and forever justify his existence.
Then he topped it off with parmesan which was certainly less noteable.