Journal

Yep, they’ve all been posted! Enjoy many classic family favourites including… Check ’em out NOW!

Friday, September 28th, 2007 I’ve been given at least two good reasons to go gay today: 1/ As I was poking fun at Dave, our obese friend, my eyes caught sight of what can only be described as a greasy hurricane of lard beneath his first chin. I’ve never been so disgusted by a man in my life, and 2/ We took a walk on a trail in the woods. I stopped to tie my shoe and when I looked up, everyone was gone. I searched and searched to no avail when all of a sudden this curly-haired girl jumped out and attacked me with a tongue that seemed to go on for miles. I succumbed to her charms and we made passionate love as woodland critters rejoiced. I think my days with Joe may be numbered. ...

… I might be able to keep this site interesting for the next 5 months!

I just got finished having a heated argument with the house next door. In the argument, I was called a “douche” and a “shit,” but never did I stray from addressing the house by its given name, Sandeep. So amongst my frequent frenzied food binges, and 6 hour commutes, I haven’t been able to get the Friday night wedding pics up yet. Allow me to whet your appetite… I call this one “Tonight, You’re The Horse” and it should have you sitting on the edge of your seats! ...

Andrew and Autumn got dressed up and found corn? That can’t be right. No. No. They got married. That’s it. Sorry. I’ve been eating too much corn.

One time I was parking my car before a Tragically Hip concert in downtown Hamilton. The lot attendant was directing me into my spot and clearly had orders to cram as many cars in as possible. I got far closer to the neighbouring vehicles than my Mother would have liked to see her Topaz get and as I left the car, I looked back to admire my parking job and grumbled about having to put so much effort into it. The attendant said something back, probably along the lines of, “I’ve seen better,” and I loudly returned, “FUCK YOU!” Now let’s realize that I was probably about 18 with very little desire to live. Also, there were 3 or 4 guys with me. Had I been solo and had a more positive outlook on life, I likely would’ve walked down the road to get the guy a coffee before taking him home, blowing him and then driving his sister to the airport. ...

This is Brad Kalwicki. You may recognize him from a Classmates.com advertisement often seen while using Facebook. Brad received no money for his participation in the ad and when asked about it, was inconsolable. Brad went to school in Rockford, Iowa. He had a chiseled physique and was encouraged by his parents Elda and Steve to pursue a career in athletics. Brad was unable to focus on any organized sport as his affinity for young boys overpowered him. He was also mildly retarded and incompetent academically, but he did have a penchant for racist humour that was the stuff of legends. ...