New furnace install was completed today. The guys left about 11:30 am. Around Noon I heard a sound coming from the basement. Went down and the furnace told me to come closer, so I did. All of a sudden it manipulated it’s ducty appendages and bent me over with little effort. It then, well, violated me. I was beginning to feel like I was getting it up the ass, so I suppose it was fitting that I finally, literally, did. Wasn’t all bad. The furnace gave me a courtesy reach around about halfway through and at the end I was handed a small bundle of chocolates bound with ribbon. What colour ribbon? Red. I know, I know. I was speechless.
Cracked open the mini Heineken keg that the dogs got me for Christmas (apparently the dogs love when drunken daddy tries to tap them out with an arm bar at 4 am). It now resides on the top shelf right behind the milk. Opening the fridge creates quite the dilemma. Right now, I’m three glasses of Heineken deep but the fun’s really gonna begin when I introduce some 1% into the mix in about 10 minutes. My stomach, much like my wife, must hate me for what I do to it.
Had to return a few Christmas items to the stores this afternoon. How’d I make out? Managed to make a couple bucks on the deal. How do I do it? How does anyone awesome do anything awesome? Exactly. You don’t need to know.
Another trip to the giney doctor tomorrow to get our monthly lovechild update. Let’s hope it’s a repeat of last time. I ask, “How’s my wife’s junk look?” and the doctor grins, leans over and gives me a spirited high five.