Woke this morning to hearing my cell phone ringing at 7 am. Two calls from a 516 number. No message. Don’t know who you are, but thanks for almost ruining my slumber. I hope when I didn’t answer you ran outside and stepped in front of a school bus. The result? Your body was almost unrecognizable. When the sobbing kids ran from the bus, one of them slipped on your body fluids and landed square on your nards. Then he laughed. Then he threw up. Then he took your wallet and rode his bike to Zellers where he had to buy his Mom some tampons and microwave popcorn.
Didn’t get up until 10 or so. Kat was working. I was not. Laid around. Lost a few bucks on Poker Room. Cleaned up a bit.
Headed off to the girl crotch doctor where we waited an hour and a half to get in. The doc then took Kat’s blood pressure and listened to the lovechild’s heartbeat. Still beating. Guess that’s good. All told we were in there for about 3 minutes. Thanks.
Went over to the bro-in-law’s since we were in the neighbourhood. Threw his kids around a bit and didn’t hurt them. Wow. I’m losing my touch. Couple of them farted on me and that was our cue to leave. Before we did, I got a belated birthday gift – a gift card for Red Lobster. Sweet merciful crap, that was a fantastic surprise.
So we then decided to go out for dinner to Red Lobster, oddly enough. I had the admiral’s feast (aye aye!). Caesar salad. Baked potato. “Do you want to try the new lobster topping for the baked potato?” Hmm. Does a cat make a weird face when it shits? Of course I do! And I did. And they charged me $3.99 plus tax for the experience. That G-damn lobster topping was worth the same as an entire Whopper Wednesday Whopper combo?! Your cheesy biscuits are the cat’s ass but your potato topping scam is unforgivable!!