I gave the finger to an old lady today.
We had to make a trek to Welland this afternoon. We were a bit early for our appointment so decided to stop at Tim Horton’s in a strip mall parking lot. After coming out of the drive-thru, I made a left turn across an exit route and saw a Buick coming my way. I noticed the driver slow down so as not to T-bone me and I raised my left hand as if to say, “Sorry for the bother and I appreciate you not killing me and my family.” Her response? She slowly shook her head from side to side in disapproval and gave me a shit-faced frown. My reaction? A gentle open left hand quickly became the middle finger. I flipped her off and giggled demonstrably as I did it. I took great satisfaction in it which is why most consider me a terrible human being.
While at our appointment at the baby doctor, a skinny crack whore of a woman was there. She had a scratchy man voice and did nothing as her child roamed the office freely into and out of areas she really had no business being. A short while later a man began to loudly roar, “Laura! Laura!! LAURA!!” from one of the patient rooms. The crack whore disappeared down a hallway. Ten minutes later, the crack whore, her loud-voiced husband and their two kids came down a hallway. The dude was pushing a No Frills cart with one child in the kiddie seat pounding back a bottle of formula and the free-range child in the back and his wife (Laura?) followed. It really is quite a sight seeing a grocery cart used as a stroller. Perhaps it’s fitting as there’s a good chance that those kids will grow up to weld those exact carts in a factory down by a murky lake somewhere.
And Laura? Oh, she’s gonna be just fine.