Went back to the doc’s office today to see if I could get away with not paying for parking again. I did. Also followed up on those X-rays. Turns out after 41 years of carrying this bloated Barnhardt head around I’ve got a touch of arthritis in there. I can deal with that. Seems like a good excuse to drink more. More honourable at least than previous drinking motivations which included “make snoring louder,” “taking stretch jeans to their limit” and “get dat change from dat bottle return” at the height of an ill-conceived rasta phase.
Waiting for the doc to come in, I sat there, annoyed that I always go in around 9 and get told he’s not there yet and have to wait another 20 minutes. This time I made good use of those minutes by strafing the floor with boogers. No grade A blood boogers or hair boogers (the king of boogers), but I did what I could. While waiting I also got to overhear a couple of conversations from other rooms including an elderly lady who requested a paper cup to pee in rather than a plastic jar because the jar always gives her trouble. Seems like a lateral move, but what the hell do I know about collecting piss from… wherever a female human’s piss comes from.
Evening ended with my boy’s hockey game and then me giving him some pointers on improving his play. He quietly listened this time but usually interrupts with plenty of frustrated I know’s. Can’t fault him for it. He’s definitely aware that I’ve played exactly zero hockey games in my life. In fact, even the mechanics of shooting a puck while wearing skates on ice is entirely beyond my comprehension. What’s within my comprehension? Entertaining you people. And by you people I mean perhaps Joe, maybe Rich (a coworker from almost 20 years ago) and without question, as my site stats show, several random Swedes and web wandering commies from the dirtiest parts of Russia. Special shout out to Yurka and Vlad. Thanks for believing in me.