Anyone else not at all fooled by the fake Esso that popped up across from the race track? Nice try, whoever polished up the abandoned Petro, bought a two hundred dollar LED sign and squeezed the ESSO logo onto it. The place looks like Girdy stripped it of any valuable metal and I suspect going inside would result in you getting a loose butthole and much of South America getting your credit card details.
Felt a bit peckish this afternoon so figured I’d hit up the office vending machine. Tried to time it so there’d be few witnesses. Scurried over during a quiet lull, pulled a 5 from my wallet and threw it in. Rejected. Flipped it. Rejected. Rotated it. Rejected. Massaged a heavy middle crease from it. Rejected. Massaged some more. Rejected. So hungry. Fingernailed some edge creases out. Rejected. Length-wise fold over and squeeze in one final hail Mary. Rejected. Looked up to see how many people were staring at me. No one. Hmm. One more try. Rejected. Screw it. McDonald’s and home rye and vodka it is. You win this round, snack robot.
That’s all I got for today. Where’s the third paragraph? Don’t be a bitch. Some days there won’t be three. Hey, some days there might even be four or five. Go fuck yourself! You read my mind.