Anyone else have a dream last night where Jeff Girdlestone was getting beaten by his mother about the face and buttocks with a large metal beaver whilst father Girdlestone hummed No Son of Mine by Genesis? No? Just me. Probably for the best.
Finished watching the new Transformers movie. Didn’t like it. Not a fan of the new look of the Transformers at all. Part of the appeal of the original toys and cartoon was to say, hey, look, dude’s armpit is actually a tailpipe or hey, that odd robot has antenna legs. Now you can’t make out shit. It just looks like a big mess of belt buckles and screwdrivers. And how about the part near the end where someone’s silhouette appears and they throw popcorn on someone else. Blocks out half the picture. You think they would have fixed that up before releasing it.
Nonetheless, Samantha Fox was hot. Nice piece of ass to look at. I was dying for her to sing Touch Me or I Wanna Have Some Fun, but neither song got sung. What’s that? Megan Fox? It was Megan Fox? Oh. Okay. Sure. Whatever.
But really, the OG Transformers were where it was at. Check out these gems from the FED archive circa 1986:
Yep. That’s my reflection in the second one. The housecoat-clad photo genius. You should be able to make out all your favourites. Megatron and Prime are there. Soundwave. The Constructicons? Yep. Got ’em. And off to the right? Why, that would be my hamster cage covered with my hamster cage cozy. That’s for when the hamster hurt my feelings and I didn’t want to look in his face for a while. But I still knew he was there. I mean, it smelled like hamster shit and you can’t cozy that up.