Barnhardt needed to get the Corolla’s oil changed, so Barnhardt stopped by good old Bill’s Toyota early this morning. Left the keys with the half-naked Puerto Rican receptionist, gave her a knowing pat on the ass and headed into the waiting room.
Tuned the TV to CP24 for all my Toronto-related news and headed to the coffee machine to whip myself up a cup. It’s one of those single serving coffee makers that’s manufactured in some country where people are still burned at the stake but they really know a good cup of Joe.
As I was walking back to my seat an older fellow came in. He had long grey hair in a pony tail and was wearing a ‘RETIRED United States Navy’ baseball cap. He wore beat-up Crocs on his feet and had bulging veins that seemed to want out of his body real bad. He can best be represented by this horrible MS Paint drawing.
He said “Good morning” and I decided to answer with a “Hey.” Seemed reasonable. Well, then the flood gates opened. He asked how to work the coffee machine. I showed him. He offered me the sports page. Don’t give a shit about sports, but took it anyway. He continue to blab about how much he loves sports, how he shouted racially insensitive comments at Japanese tourists in Hawaii and how all of his relatives are awesome.
Man I hate trying to carry on normal conversations with normal people. I don’t know how much more miserable an air I need to have about me to keep people away, but I’ve gotta find out. This unnecessary banter almost ruined my visit. Only thing that made up for it was the complimentary, yet extremely low-quality Toyota branded snow brush I received upon leaving.
I hope grizzly ex-Navy chatmaster doesn’t Google.