So Jeff’s driving us to the airport on Sunday. This reminds me of the first time I ate ants.
I was young and had a penchant for eating potato chips. I had a half-finished bag of the tastiest BBQ chips Fort Erie ever sold. I tucked them away beneath some sheets and pillows so no one would take them (it would only have been Andrew – I needn’t have taken such measures).
One quiet Saturday afternoon I took out the chips and started to shovel them into my mouth. Years of eating had my skills honed – I opened the bag without even looking!
Now I can’t say what was on TV. I can say that it had me ENTHRALLED and knowing the time period it was probably Three’s Company or Growing Pains related. During a slow point, I pulled my hand from the bag and looked down to realize that my hand was swarming with tiny ambitious ants. Hmm. That’s weird. I looked in the bag and found it contained more ants than chips.
So I’d been sitting there for well over 10 minutes and must have eaten literally HUNDREDS of ants. Must pat myself on the back fat because even at the time I understood the high comedic value of the story. Sure, it’s a little degrading as are many of my better stories, but it’s brought joy to the hearts of many over the years, so to hell with it. Hooray!
NUMBER OF SLEEPS ‘TILL VEGAS: 2