Currently sitting on the toilet eating some Christmas stocking beef jerky. I think I might be shocked to hear how many of you have never eaten whilst you poop. I’ve definitely eaten many a high school breakfast on this thing and I’m pretty sure some have involved a TV tray for added comfort. I can’t even force myself to call it disgusting. It’s a real time saver. There are poo particles floating in the air that will attach themselves to your food, you’d say. Well, how do you think the poo feels about the bagel-with-cheese particles?, I’d reply. Science doesn’t support your argument and you will end up quite sick!, you’d proclaim. Wait, why are you wiping your ass with $2 worth of toilet paper each time?!, you’d enthusiastically inquire. Know what, you should just leave. You’re not going to see things get better.
Went to the Canada Finland game in Buffalo yesterday. Good times and a nice win by the good guys. The weather was bitterly cold and I encountered a parking lot attendant sans gloves. He was struggling to get his frosty digits to tear the parking slip in half. His senses were so dulled he almost forgot to take my $20. I whimsically quipped, It’s so cold and you don’t even have any gloves! He giggled at what was, simply, a fact and not creative in the least. I like to think the giggles we shared have made us lifelong friends but I don’t need a friend who forgets gloves and he probably only likes people with a single chin.
Slept until 10:30 today which means yet another first place in the Barnhardt family sleeping contest (that the other competitors refuse to agree they’re part of). Not feeling too bad today. Most recently I’ve had some old man neck and back aches upon waking up and throughout the day. Today’s alright so far. Think I’ll go for a walk with the… Hey, where did these samosas come from? Aaaaand I’m on the couch watching Die Hard 2.