Dave and Crystal Pester, this one’s for you.
When I saw you today, yes, I called your son Cooper. Actually, it’s even worse as I shortened it to Coop, and said it as though we were close enough to do so. I know now, after speaking to my wife, that your son’s name is, in fact, Conner (Connar? Conor? Connerrr?). I’m sure that adding 3) Doesn’t know our son’s name down just below 1) Fat and 2) Not funny on your ‘Reasons to Hate Dave’ list that you’ve probably completely written me off as a viable friend. I deserve it.
Again, I am sorry.