On the recommendation of some friends (who are absolutely aware that I’m fat and enjoy eating) I stopped at Burger King to take down one of them Angry Whoppers today. Ironically, they don’t have them any more, so I had to settle for a normal Whopper… which made me angry. Well played, Burger King. You made yourself a powerful enemy today.
I was taking a pee in the public washroom at work this afternoon. The room was empty aside from myself and I was at the far right urinal with a wall partially concealing my girth from others. Mid pee, I hear a dude come in mumbling to himself as though distracted and possibly reading, but certainly heading in my direction. Only thing that crossed my mind is that he was so focused on whatever the fuck he was doing that he wasn’t going to even look up to see that the urinal was occupied and I would wind up with his dick on my back.
As it turned out he realized I was there before nudging me with his wang and proceeded to another urinal. But I got big problems. These are the kinds of things I seriously devote time to worry about. Dicks on my back. Perhaps if I gave a little more consideration to the important things in life, I’d have had that Angry Whopper a long time ago. Yeah, I’m gonna be hung up on this Angry Whopper thing for a while…